Taking poop turns

Result of having 2 potty trained babies in the house is while one is trying to poop on the potty, the other goes "I poopoo too. Excuse me! Sorry Taylor! Taylor go poop in the sink. Mason go on the potty."

Mommy how old are you?

Mason has been asked more often lately the question, "how old are you?" Naturally he starts to ask me...

Mason: "Mommy, how old are you?"

Me: "I'm 29."

Mason: "I'm two!" As he attempts to make two with his fingers without success.

Me: "Cool. You're two and a half actually."

Mason: "I'm two and a half. Mommy, how old are you?"

Me: "I'm 29."

Mason: "Twenty nine" as he attempts to count his fingers.

Me: "Can't do 29 on your fingers honey, it's a big number. Want me to count to 29?"

Mason: "Yeah!"

Me: "1, 2, 3,..., 17, 18"

Mason: "Mommy, what are you doing?"

Me: "I'm counting to 29! 19, 20, 21.."

Mason: "Mommy, what are you doing?"

Me: "I'm counting to 29! It takes a while! ... 27, 28, 29!"

Mason: "Good job mommy!"

Me: "Thank you."

Mason: "Mommy, how old are you?"

Me: "I'm two."

Mason: "I'm two too!"

On a mission

Walking to the playground after preschool we pass by a mom and her little boy getting into a white hatchback that looks like our car.

Mason goes up to them: "Mason's white car? Mason's?"

Mommy: "No that's not our car, we parked back there."

Mason to the strangers: "I'm going to the playground." And walks away.

Not yet

Me: I'm going to make peas then we're gonna eat

Mason: Peas?!

Me: yeah do you want peas?

Mason: no. Not yet.

Me: how about in 5 minutes?

Mason: yes

Drawing

Mason: Mommy draw a dinosaur?

Ting (holding a red crayon): uh...

Mason: Yes mommy draw a big red dinosaur.

Ting: Ok.

Mason: Ooooh a turtle!

Ting: I'm not done yet! There, a stegosaurus!

Mason: Stegosaurus! Now draw a dinosaur. A big red dinosaur up here please.

Ting: ...

Good job daddy!

Mason: Daddy did a toot. Daddy doing a poopoo. Good job daddy!!

Yawn

Ting: *yawn* *groan*

Mason: Are you ok?

Ting: I'm fine, I'm tired.

Mason: mommy go sleep?

Ting: aww thanks buddy you're sweet

Showers

Ting: I'd like to take a shower before preschool tomorrow.

Steve: Ok. How about now? Because I have to work (Ting at the stairs) tomorrow morning whereas right now (halfway up the stairs) I'm...

Ting: Bye!

Steve: Yep.

Parent Conversation - Sports

Steve: Canucks won't be making the playoffs this year.

Ting: Didn't the playoffs just finish? Wait what month is this?

Steve: It's March. You know playoffs are in June right?

Ting: My days are all jumbled.

Monkey Mason

Mason: Ah ah ah ah ah ah! I'm a monkey. Ah ah ah ah ah!

Mommy/daddy: Can you be an indoor monkey?

What's your name!

Ting: Their faces are about the same size.

Steve: Maybe... Oh I know (gets the tape measure to measure Taylor's face)

Ting: Mas...Tay... What's your name! Stop it! I don't usually have to yell at you...

Steve: Yesss!

Backseat Chatter

Things Mason says while on the road:

Hi garbage truck! I see you! The back of the garbage truck. See you later garbage truck! Take the garbage!

(Red light a block down) Red means stop. Stop mommy! Stop!

Oh a car! Oh another car! Another car too! (Me: yes honey we're on the road!)

Go through the tunnel. Under the bridge. Big turn coming up, going on the bridge! One... Two... Three... TURN! (still on straightaway) One... Two... Three... TURN!

Cranes! Up there! (Drove past) Too high up, I don't see any cranes.

Me: Look Mason a digger!

Mason: Yeah! Over there! Hey Mommy I saw a digger. Cool.

Parent Conversation

Steve: I won't be able to ride [the scooter] but my friend will pick me up today.

Ting: Mason is doing a ginormous dump.

Steve: That's great everybody is sharing what we're doing.

What time is it?

Mason: "what time is it?"

Ting: "huh? What time is it?"

Mason: "Time for lunch!"

Ting: "You want to have lunch now?"

Mason: "Yeah."

Mason: "Mommy it's peeno time!" (piano)

Ting; "It is?"

Mason: "Peeenoooooo time!"

Ting: "Can you ask nicely?"

Mason: "Mommy! It's... peeeeeee... nooo... time! Please."

Teaching

Ting: "That's a park ranger. She... Goes in the forest and plays with the squirrels and bears and drives a jeep."

Steve: "That's a grizzly bear. They're the meanest baddest bears... Unless you draw them friendly."

Cookie Monster

Awhile ago...

Mommy: What does Cookie Monster like to eat?

Mason: ... Carrots?

Today out of nowhere...

Mason: People. Oohhhhh Cookie Monster eat peeeeepoh. I see.

99 bottles of beer on the wall

Ting to Mason: See we put one puzzle back, take one down, pass it around, that's what it's all about...

Steve: That's not right.

Power of "Please"

We finished the bowl of homemade apple chips...

Mason: More chips!

Mommy: All gone.

Mason: More chips please!

Mommy: It's all gone.

Mason: Daddy! More please!

Mommy: It's all gone.

Mason: Daddy! More chips! Please!

The Artist

Mason: "Mama I draw tunnel! Go through it?" He then puts his face on the picture of his tunnel.

Just like daddy

Ting: "Taylor looks just like you when she smiles."

Steve: "Mystery solved, we finally know what I would look like if I was a baby girl."

Conversation skills

Mason was telling me about his swim lesson...

Ting: Can you take your toes out of my ear while you talk?

Shopping

Went to Target to get some clothes for the growing toddler.

Mason: "All done pants, no shirt, find toys, ok! Lets go! Come on! Mommy coming?"

Husband of a behaviourist

Steve: Good job pushing poop out of your butt.

Boys' room

To simplify nighttime, Steve has been sleeping in Mason's room and I have been cosleeping with Taylor on the big bed. I never fully appreciated the accuracy of the phrase "it looks like a bomb went off in here" until I walked into the boys' room today.

You sneeze like rain

Mason started it. He had a runny nose and cough. But I guess taking vitamin c's don't defend against being constantly coughed at directly in the face. So I was down, shortly followed by Taylor.

Taylor, my baby girl is having her first cold at 3 months thanks to her brother (who didn't experience his first cold until 9 months). She ain't holding back on her coughs and sneezes either. I said to her today, "oh my goodness, you sneeze like rain. The big drops kind that smacks you in the face."

What my 2 year old son says while taking a dump

Mason: "Here it comes.... there it is. Whoa...Biiiiiiiig poopoo and biiiiiiiig peepee. Like a big truck."

Dog cone

Mason fell and broke the skin on his chin and bit his lip. Blood everywhere. I wrestled a gauze and tape onto his jawline and let him watch TV.

Ting to Steve: "I don't know what to do about nap, the TV is distracting him from ripping it off, like a dog cone."

Take me to the washroom!

Our daughter, at 12 weeks old, developed a preference for pooping in the sink rather than in her diaper. I take off her diaper and hold her by her thighs over the sink and she happily does her business.

Don't get me wrong, it's fantastic not to have to change a poopy diaper, especially for a girl. But she's getting heavy, and when it's 5am... Just poop in the diaper!

(Yes I still crawl out of bed to take her otherwise she'll cry until I do.)

I need to get shit done

Cheerios and Magazines

Said to the then 18 month old Mason:

"Ok take it to the table and eat your Cheerios and read your car magazine."

First Lie

Took Mason to see the doctor today about his cold. We talked about the different tools in our medical kit the doc might be using today. He regretted his enthusiasm as soon as we got in the room and stated "no" when the doc greeted him. 

When doc asked me what's going on, Mason says to him, "mama has cold."

Me: "What?! No I don't!"

His first public lie for selfish gain. Milestone check!

Whoomp...

Mason: "Pee pee."

Steve: "ok let's go! Go go go go!"

On the potty:

Steve: "Well? Do a pee pee go."

Mason: "Nooo..."

Steve: "You said pee pee."

Mason: "... There it is!"

Cool Hands

Steve: Mason where's your left hand?

Mason: I two hands!

Steve: Yes, and this is your left hand, and this is your right hand.

Mason: Cool!

Child of a Behaviourist

I (Ting) used to be a behaviour therapist for kids with autism, so I would say things like "good picking up the paper" and "you are awesome at walking with me." We call this behaviour specific praise. Mason has started saying "good job" to himself and to us. The other day, he lost his train under the playpen and I had Taylor in my arms so wasn't able to bend down and help him retrieve it.

Ting: "I'll pull out the playpen and you go get the train."

After he got the train...

Mason: "Yay! You're good at helping!"

Will you help us?

Umizoomi to the TV audience: "Will you help us find the train ticket?"

Mason: "No."

Apology

Ting: Mason say sorry Taylor for stepping on your face!

Mason: sorry Taytay stepping on your face.

Self Checkout at Superstore

Mommy and Mason get groceries with Taylor in her stroller, which means no shopping cart to strap down the toddler during checkout.

Mason don't pull that

No climbing

Put it back

Stop taking the yogurt off

Get back here

I already beeped that one

Put it back

Stop pulling that

Stand here play with this thing

Get back here stop pulling on that

It's not a coin it's a credit card

Ok help put the things in the bag

Mason: it's soooo heavy

Not the milk get something smaller

Mason: it's toooo heavy

Not the chocolate milk either

Here put the cream in the bag

Mason: I missed